My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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