What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
