Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
