I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
