so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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