youre lurking in front of me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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