Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
