They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His hands were made for my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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