he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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