Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
