Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
