Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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