This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
