Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
