I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
