Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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