my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize