It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
