Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
