is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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