I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
