That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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