i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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