I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This girl is more easily done than said...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Randomize
