I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
