I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize