sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm at about main and main street
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
