I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
