You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
