How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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