Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize