Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
