I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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