someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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