normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
