i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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