you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize