what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
