That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
