i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize