Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
