My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
