yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize