I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
