If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
