I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I faked an abortion last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
