Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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