youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
