i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
