Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
