Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize