ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
