the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
