i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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