Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
