Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just pynch a tree in the face
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
