Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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