I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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