If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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