my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
